“The Road To Success Is Never Traveled Alone.”
Dwelling
I was thrust into a moment of reflection recently upon hearing a well-known public figure comment that he was a “self-made success”. As that comment began to sink in, I couldn’t help but contemplate the disservice being done to all the people in this person’s life who had contributed in small and large ways to his current status, and what they might think about his comment. Even after several days, I still found myself dwelling on his remark — I just could not let it go. That is, until it dawned on me that the reason my subconscious kept wrestling with his statement was because I had once held a similar belief about myself.
Reflection and Revelation
As my hindsight become more clear, I recalled the image of a statue by Bobbie Carlyle depicting the figurative image of a “self-made man”, essentially carving himself out of a block of stone. The essence of the sculpture can be interpreted as one who has taken sole ownership to overcome and triumph over the struggles of one’s life. From the time I first saw this statue, I embraced its symbolism, as I was proud of the fact that I had overcome a great number of struggles to be where I was at that point in my life.
For several years, I had held on to the belief that I had shaped my own destiny. I believed that despite the circumstances and obstacles in my life, that my choices alone, had enabled me to carve out a better future — a “self-made man”. That is, until a chance conversation with a long-time friend, reminiscing about our younger years, led to a revelation that rocked my world.
My friend and I were discussing how I was nearly not able to attend college simply because of a policy that required a student to be financially independent from their parents for two years before they could be considered an independent student, thus qualifying for additional considerations. The problem was that my last parent had died a year earlier, so I truly was independent, but an administrator would not budge on granting me an exception to the policy, despite my unique circumstance. The issue did finally get resolved in my favor and it was through this experience, that I learned the value of determination and persistency, traits that have served me well throughout the rest of my life.
Fast forward 25 years — during the conversation with my friend, she recounted that her dad, upon learning of my situation with the college administrators, had taken it upon himself to intervene on my behalf and had not only called the school, but had met live with the President of the university. The issue was resolved in my favor, but it wasn’t just because of my determination and persistency, it was because I had unknown and unsolicited help.
Upon learning this, I was speechless and moved to tears by the kindness of a man whom I barely knew some 25 years earlier, who had enabled me to pursue an education that has served as the foundation for breaking the cycle of poverty in which I was raised.
Humbled
This experience led me to reflect and recognize that whether I had acknowledge them or not, that many, countless people have helped me throughout my life. This has had the effect of both humbling and enabling me. While I may never know everyone who has helped me, I now know that I am never alone in my endeavors.
My advocates have been my wife and children, my family, friends, friend’s parents, coaches, teachers, colleagues, managers, acquaintances and I even like to believe, strangers. These people have taught, encouraged, inspired, coached, supported, guided and led me to be a better person, while enabling me to pursue my goals. To everyone of them, I say “thank you for believing in me”.
What I Now Teach My Kids
We may set out on our own, but there is always known and unknown assistance and interventions from others that help shape and guide the path to “success”. Even as I contemplate my own past, I’ve come to realize that during times when I thought I was alone in facing hurdles and tough decisions, that in reality, I was not. I may have been alone with my decision, but the seeds that shaped my choices were planted with the help of others throughout my life.
These seeds of support can be as simple as a few words of encouragement at a critical time, a well-intended criticism, a recommendation or tip, an introduction or even an unknown advocacy on our behalf. We may never know all of the times when we have been helped throughout our lives, but suffice to say, we have been helped.
I like to think that everyone who describes themselves as “self-made” is just on the cusp of the realization that they too owe a debt of gratitude and appreciation to those who walked before them, beside them and behind them, to help them achieve their goals.”
Today, take a moment to thank someone who has helped you become more successful!
“Lift as you climb.” — Mary McLeod Bethune
